I’m hesitant to post this today. I already know it’s going to sound like a pity party. I know it’s going to make me look like I’m whining. But, seriously you guys? If I don’t start spewing what’s in my head, I may go insane.
Because it’s been one of those weeks.
One of those weeks where it seems like self-doubt is coming at me from every direction. And as much as I’ve tried to distract myself from it or tell myself these things don’t really matter, I just can’t shake it. They seem to matter right now…a lot.
Maybe it’s because I’m sleeping less now than when Bunny was a newborn {hello sleep regression…paging Dr. Ferber}. Maybe it’s because I’m uber stressed out about STILL not knowing when we’re moving, even though we should have had orders months ago. Maybe it’s because it seems like everything has come all at once. ”When it rains, it pours” and all.
Who knows. All I know is it’s one big funk that I can’t dig myself out of. I just don’t feel “good enough”…at home, at work…just in general. While my friends and colleagues are moving on and moving up, I’m stationary. {They deserve all of it any more. I couldn’t be more proud of them, don’t get me wrong about that one.}
I also know a lot of this is on me. Apparently I need to work harder, work differently, do something to move beyond where I am now. I’m just not sure what that something is just yet. That’s the most frustrating part…not knowing.
So for now, I try and figure out how to suck it up and move beyond how I’m feeling and keep my mind running to figure out how to turn this crappy week into motivation to do better. I know I’ll find it eventually. It just may take some time. All good things come to those who wait, right?
